
Last weekend (June 5 - 7, 2009) I traveled with some friends to Bac Lieu, Vietnam (about 7 hour bus ride south west of Ho Chi Minh City) to spend time in the countryside and attend an engagement party. The bus is really like an extension van, about 15 seats, and so the ride isn't bad, depending on how crazy of a driver you have. I traveled with 4 other girls (all doctors!) and they all had to take medication to prevent car sickness. I survived, but the driver was a bit maniacal.
Like "HOLY WTF we're going to crash head first into oncoming traffic as you pass these 4 trucks....wheeeeew that was a close one!!!!!". And repeat...
I talked with em Thao a bit, it has been really nice to make a good friend here in Vietnam. And I was able to sleep, thanks to the help of my ipod. I think otherwise, it would be have been a bit difficult for me with the honking, music, and general crazy noise of the trip. We did have two 30 minute rest stops to use the bathroom and eat/drink, so that was nice. There was also a really cool ferry ride across the Mekong River, where we passed through the city of Can Tho.

We arrived in Bac Lieu about 10:30 pm and the town was very quiet, it was actually difficult to get a taxi to take us to the Bride's home. But we finally made it, and met with the the Bride's family and their friends. We had a late meal and then the family took us to the hotel where our group would be staying the night, a small guest house with a great big room with 4 beds. And air-conditioning...which is all I really needed as Bac Lieu was hotter than HCMC, if one can even imagine that...seems like there are less big trees, more flat land countryside...
But the countryside is beautiful, watching the buildings pass by, seeing how simple life can really be and also how poor the country really is. Often I'd see something really interesting: above ground coffins facing all the same direction, rows of lamps illuminating pools of water (em Thao though this may be somehow related to raising shrimp or crabs), a huge house every now and then, a large factory with rows and rows of motorbikes and bicycles. Seems like everything is fascinating out in the countryside.
Saturday morning, we woke up around 6:30 and prepared our dresses for the engagement party. Bich and I were the only ones who chose to wear ao dai - and it nearly killed me, because it was so stinking hot and the ao dai is supposed to be tight fighting and therefore very hot. At least we suffered together and we did look very nice!
We arrived at the house close to 8 and watched Minh (the bride) get her make up and hair done. Minh is already a beautiful girl but these people can really do some magic with these glosses, powders, and sticks of color. And the hair! Lots of hairspray and pins, and they even hot glued pearls in a crown shape. Sounds weird, but it was so beautiful and really reminded me of a fairy princess.
I have only ever been to family weddings, so am familiar with some of the traditions of the Vietnamese wedding. But I was still interested to see how this engagement party was the same or different...Engagement parties take place in the Bride's home while the actual wedding ceremony takes place in the Groom's home. Then there is of course a celebration dinner and reception at a restaurant or hotel, but the ceremony of Vietnamese Buddhist tradition takes place in the home, in front of ancestors, family, and friends.
At 8 am, Tuan (the Groom) and his family arrived. As is tradition, they walk in a ceremonial process from the driveway to the front of the house. First is the Groom's representative (often a good family friend), followed by the parents and grandparents, then the Groom himself. Following him is a procession of other family and friends, each holding a gift offering to the Bride's family - all in all, it's about 30 people.
Meanwhile, the Bride's family is lined up at the house entrance, ready to greet the Groom. The Groom's Representative introduces the family and makes an offering. The Bride's family offers tea to the Groom's parents and the Groom's family is escorted in. The Bride has yet to be seen.
The parents, grandparents, and other high family members sit across from each other at a long table and one by one, make offerings and prayers to their ancestors and greet each other. Then the Groom makes offerings to the Bride's family, says prayers...and then the Bride comes down. Together the Bride and Groom make offerings to their ancestors and to each family member at the table. The Bride is presented with gold jewelry and other gifts. It takes about one hour and there's lots of bowing, clapping, blessings, and presentation of money.
It's a beautiful ceremony, enriched in tradition and with gestures to family, past and present. I really would like to have such a ceremony for my own wedding. Often at cousin's weddings, because not many people can make it to an engagement party (whereas here, most family from both sides live in Bac Lieu), it becomes a part of the wedding day celebrations. So in the morning you have the celebration at the Bride's home, then the wedding ceremony (either at Groom's home or church or other location), then the reception. It turns into an all day event, but I've always found it to be fun and interesting.

Minh the Bride is on the far right, in a traditional pink ao dai. Her wedding ao dai will be red. There is also a traditional ao dai for men as well, but nowadays they elect to wear the Western suit and tie.

Friends (and doctors!).
After a hearty lunch, our group of 5 girls headed back to the hotel to change and rest. At 4 pm, we headed back out to tour Bac Lieu and make the most of our (essentially) one day excursion to the countryside.
First up, a visit to the Goddess of the Southern Seas, a popular statue and temple in Bac Lieu.


The landscape is just incredible...those are clouds, not smoke from incense. Absolutely beautiful.
Then we headed out to the ocean. The Mekong Delta does not have beaches, it is rather muddy. And there are fascinating creatures that live in the mud, amongst the mangrooves. Small crabs the size of your thumb that have one huge claw the size of their body and the other claw tiny. Or weird amphibian/fish-like creatures that look like large tadpoles and can swim by moving their tail but like to get around by hopping on top of the water. They can also climb onto sticks and mud - it was really weird, like I was imagining these were prehistoric fish and they were going to evolve into frogs or land animals...if that makes any sense.
Best of all the ocean is shallow, so you can walk basically out into the sunset and it's a fantastic sense of really being on the edge of the world:



Urgh, I feel like I'm using all of these adjectives, but still cannot really describe how cool this place was. I really wish we had more time to be here, because walking out into the ocean like in the above picture would have been really awesome.
Then we met up with a larger group of friends and headed to dinner at a small restaurant that specializes in turtles. Yeah, eating turtle was kind of a weird thing, and definitely following the group into the back kitchen area was a bad idea (!!). Oops It was a novel thing to see, but I think when you see the process of live animal to dead animal, it makes it difficult to follow through with eating the thing. I think really only the guys were into the meal, the girls not to much. We kept asking for more noodles, to fill our stomachs with something. I didn't even remember to take pictures, as unique as this meal was.
In fact the most interesting part of the meal was probably when we were waiting for everything to get ready, we ventured into the back, where there was a great view of the sunset and countryside filled with rice paddies, banana trees, and a few ancestral burial grounds...

Sunset in Bac Lieu
After dinner, we all headed to a famous large hotel, restaurant, and cafe in Bac Lieu. Built in 1919, it was formerly owned by the richest man in the province. He was so rich (through owning land and farms) that apparently he once burned money to cook an egg. Whack! Anyways I think probably the government seized the property after the war and now it's a hotel, restaurant, and cafe. A few of us walked around the area, it's about as big as a city block, and then returned to finish our drinks.

Turns out some people were still hungry (yes indeed!) and then we all ventured out to experience some special Bac Lieu seafood noodle soup. The small local restaurants have tiny chairs and tables that make you feel clownish and can put a kink in your back and cramp your legs. But some of the best food (and always super cheap!) comes in these locations, so it's just a part of the culture. And really these people, guys and girls, are tiny so it's okay for them. Haha, us Americans would be thinking, "Uhh you expect my butt to fit where?!"

And so after this late meal, our group of girls split ways and headed back to hotel to clean up and get ready for the overnight trip back to HCMC. Taking the 11:30 pm bus seemed like a good idea at the time (save time! sleep on the bus and you save a whole day!) except it was much harder to me to sleep. And plus there were still the 2 30 minute stops, where you have to get out while they clean the bus, so it's not a good sleep. At 5:30 am we arrived in HCMC, and I think we all still slept for another few hours after that....
It was really a fun trip; I really wanted to get out of the city and see something new, and spending time with these ladies was really great!
Special Bac Lieu album here, as I cannot post all of pics on the blog